I Was Here

I found myself listening to 'I Was Here' by Beyoncé today and as usual I got this fiery sensation within me. Somehow it happens everytime I listen to that song. Let me put it this way, the desire to be somebody overtakes me in the best way possible and I feel this ambition of steel in the pit of my stomach. You know that feeling? Of pure adrenaline and determination. Listening to it, I become refocused and motivated again. Indeed it reminded me why I'm doing what I do.

Sometimes moments like that are necessary as it reminds us exactly what we're fighting towards or more importantly why. Day to day when things aren't progressing it may feel as if we're constantly fighting against the world and ourselves in order to achieve.. what exactly?

The responsibilities you carry today maybe so burdensome, it becomes easy to get swamped and forget that you have set goals and ambitions. The beauty of it is you get to choose the direction you're life is going. The difficulty is you have to get there on your own merits. 

Understand that the challenges you may face today are the necessary stepping stones to greatness. In order to leave your mark in this world, in whichever field, you have to put the work in.

In order to become legendary and celebrated the world over you have to come from your version of the bottom and push through the day to day struggles so that you can reach those unattainable heights. You have to do all of this, if you want to create a legacy behind. You have to do all of this if you want to be unforgettable. 

'This world will see, I was here' 

http://youtu.be/i41qWJ6QjPI

BE. 

White

 

When I closed my eyes today all I saw was a blank canvas. It made me smile.

That there is new beginnings. It made me think. Everyone is born with a white canvas, no stains on it just yet, no heartbreak, memories, moments.  No life. Just pure, white, and beautiful in its own way. Raw. 

It reminded me that there is always a new start, for tomorrow is a new day. There's always second chances. It got me thinking back to the blank canvas.. How it hadn't seen the world yet. However if you look at that same canvas again in 20 years time it will be splashed with stains and scars of all kinds. It will be filled with deep reds and high yellows. The pencil marks on it will be so deep through the paper; scars that are eternally visible. 

The canvas is you. 

It's full of the people that have come and gone in your life. It's those who have left a permanent mark and those just bristled through. The canvas showcases all of the highs and lows, the mellow blues and startling oranges that sum up your life. 

Surely that's what it's about right?

Surely, at the end of the day those with the most vibrant, colourfully marked slates are the ones who have truly lived. Sure the canvas of your life can be full of hurt, wrenching despair and quiet loneliness. But the beauty of it, the magic is that that very same canvas is also full of beauty, laughter and all consuming love. Good and bad existing simultaneously side by side. You will never know the value of one without the presence of the other. Looking at that accumulation of moments you can say you have lived. Live such a life that at the end of it all you can take a step back and yours will be a raw art. Filled with life.

Would I want a pretty blank canvas? Never. 

I would take my marked, bruised,  hurt beautifully flawed vibrant canvas over that one any day. 

Because I know I will have lived a damn good life. 

BE 

We All Need..

Breathe. 

Come on, come on

You have got to move on

This is not the you i know

This isn't real

It's just all you can feel

And that's the way that feelings go

And whether or not it's right or wrong you'll do what you will do

When the cloud in the sky starts to pour

And your life is just a storm you're braving

Don't tell yourself you can't lean on someone else

Cause we all need saving sometimes

Say what you will but the time that we fill

While we're on the earth

Should not be alone

We were meant to be known

You make me what i'm worth

But i can't keep you from yourself you'll do what you will do

I don't know why it has to be this way and

I don't know the cure

But please believe someone has felt this before

Time

I wish I could find the words to explain my soul to someone. Yet there is too many words in my vocabulary to explain and yet- still, not nearly enough. I'm pondering the presence of time in my life and like my thoughts how fleetingly they pass by. 

19.. Birthday girl. How did I get to live through 19 years already? And at the same time, how am I only 19? I feel like I've lived a thousand lifetimes. Time. A mechanism that only one works way.. I read somewhere that the moments after its gone, the word after its been spoken and the stone after its been thrown are the only things that cannot be recovered, and how true that is. 

Instead each moment given to us must be cherished and lived thoroughly. Understand that I see life as a series of moments  rather then an ongoing process.

For me it's that crazy night on a random island in ibiza, its drunken nights at Portuguese bars, its the feeling of snow under my feet, its that conversation in the park. 

 Life is simply a collection of experiences intertwined with the ticking clock of time. Blink and I'll be 30 years of age. And then what? It truly is an accumulation of good and bad experiences. At the end of it all, much like an obituary they'll list all of your achievements and travels on a piece of paper. That's it. Your life achievements and successes will be your remaining legacy. Noone will ask 'but how much did she love?' 'How much did she live?'

Noone will know your incomplete desires, all the places you wanted to go but never did. Noone will know the fears etched in the deepest part of your soul. And no one will care. 

So in the words of Lytton 'Leave no stone unturned' and leave no ocean unexplored. Work your very hardest to fufill your potential with the gifts given to you. 

Im planning to live such a life that, on my very last breath I know I've left all emotions, hopes and dreams in the world and done all I ever hoped to do. 

What about you? What's gonna be your legacy?

BE.