More

He craves me.. He craves my lips. But god dammit I crave something more. I wish I didn't. I wish I'm someone who's content with enough. But I never have been. 

More.. Intelligence. Wit. Humour. Devilish good looks. An essence. A certain je ne sais quoi that cannot be explained or expressed only felt. Pure feeling. Something. Something more. And I'll know when I know but damn it's difficult.. Not to get sidetracked when.. he wants you enough... In fact his only misdemeanour is his being. Sure, superficially he ticks the right boxes.. He'd care enough. Sacrifice enough. Appreciate enough. 

Except..

I know he's not Him. The Him I've been pining after..

So instead. The dice is rolled. Do I wait, or do I live ? 

BE

Dear Self..

You are enough. 

I have to remind myself. Everyday. You are enough. 

Self, please be strong in that belief. Place  faith in that belief. For the contentment you so sorely seek is within. 

You,

You are..

Adequate. More then adequate. In fact you my dear overflow with thought and love and life. You are vibrant and exuberant and full to the brim, spilling out in all your thoughtful glory. 

You exist as an enigma to some and a menace to others. Always have done. 

See, you my dear are uncontained. You do not fit a certain mould, stereotype or way of being. You never have done. 

You know what it is like to stand even if it is alone. 

You know what it is to battle the most tumultuous waters.

You've been to the deepest darkest corners of the soul and emerged..alive. 

So you are..good. In yourself. Few people can say the same Self. 

Understand that you cannot be described, rather you must be lived. 

You must be lived and cherished and loved. Thoroughly. 

So, don't you ever ever do yourself the disservice to think your are not enough for anyone or anything.. 

For you are almost too much..in the best way possible. 

You are.. "Something not every body knows how to love".