Solitude vs Loneliness

Solitude. It is something that I revel in. The noise of the world can become so loud sometimes that I'm unable to hear myself think. When I'm given the opportunity therefore to slow down and just be, I find it's both heartening and enriching for my soul. 

Being alone is crucial for everybody. We need the time given to us to recharge our deplated spirits, calm our racing thoughts and re-evaluate our actions. This type of soul searching activity can only ever be done alone. However, it is important to draw the line between healthy, voluntary solitude and loneliness. It's easy enough to fall into a trap of hoplessness and despair when you spend too much time by yourself. The silence can be deafening and your thoughts crushing. I find I walk this line of solitude and loneliness often as a writer-  on occasions where the words flow easily I am enthused by the endless hours of possibility ahead of me. When they don't, it is just me and blank page with nothing to say, and on those dark days I become consumed by my thoughts, spending too much time in my own head. 

It seems to me therefore that there is a delicate balance that needs to be struck. It is essential that we place great emphasis on constantly developing the inner workings of our minds, making sure that we're always heading in a positive and progressive direction. This can be achieved through constant reflection.  However, we musn't plague ourselves with senseless anxieties and incessantly negative thoughts. We are only human after all. Indeed it's perilously easy to go through the days events and nitpick at what you could've done better. I'm particularly guilty of this; Instead of focusing on what I have achieved during the day I can become enveloped in irrational frustrations, quickly turning into my own worst enemy and becoming unmercifully critical. 

For this reason spending too much time with yourself can have a negative impact on you. We are social animals and have been programmed to co exist as one, not as individuals. By being alone for a prolonged period of time, you may forget that outside those four walls lies a whole world waiting to be explored and experienced. Let me remind you. l

Don't be a prisoner in the confines of your own mind. Instead of highlighting all of your shortcomings or daydreaming about the ideal version of yourself, go out and work towards becoming that person. Go out and live.  Fall in and out of love, feel passion, fear, anger or whatever. 

But, dear friends don't ever allow yourselves to, in a world with 7 billion inhabitants to ever feel lonely. You are much too loved for that. 

"A man is but the product of his thoughts.  What he thinks, he becomes" - 

Mahatma Gandhi

Mutual Understanding

Perhaps all we crave is mutual understanding. A friend and I came to this agreement and I've been pondering on what it is to 'understand' someone completely and by extension how our day to day interactions with those arround us fundamentally effect who we are.

As human beings, you learn very early on how necessary it is to maintain healthy strong relationships with those around you. As a baby, you're dependent on you're mother to nurture you into being. Her relationship to you is, in a very real sense essential to your very survival. As you get older your romantic attachments can enhance your spiritual growth and result in life events, such as getting married. The relationships you forge with work colleagues can become  essential to your sucess at work. It can be said therefore that we all need each other. Not only in a biological sense, but also in psychological one. We cannot simply  flourish and progress alone. 

Relationships, are by far and wide the single most important investment you can make in your life. Understand that I write this entry more to highlight the unsung heroes in all of our lives. The individuals that pick us up when we simply cannot face another day. Appreciate them. The relationships that you chose to maintain today are youre most precious asset. Don't let them go. When you are burdened with the weight of the world on your shoulders, it is those very people that will pull you out of the gutter and back into the ring, ready to fight again. My friends give me that necessary life + motivation everyday for which I am eternally thankful. 

For that reason I'm very hesitant to cut people out of my life even when I've been wronged. You invest an awful lot of time and energy into people, to just give up on them when they mess up. Even though it may hurt when the people closest to you hurt you- remember this: everyone is flawed and trying to figure it out. They deserve a second chance just as you would if you messed up. Don't give up on them yet. 

That being said, don't let yourself be pushed over or used by anyone. The people we hold near and dear says a lot about us, personally. After all, birds of a feather flock together. It is crucial therefore to surround ourselves with people that bring out the best in us, that are constantly pushing us to progress and encouraging us in all things, to be great. To anyone doing the opposite- good riddance!

Back to my point about mutual understanding, in essence I think we are all searching for the same thing by a different name. We wish to find a kindred spirit within another - romantically or otherwise, a person that gets us on a deeper level. After all you want to look at the people close to you and see a true reflection of yourself. We crave a genuine connection with others that surpasses the superficial. We want to understand and be understood. I believe that that simple fact exemplifies what it is to be human. We need each other. 

"Out beyond ideas of wrongdoing and rightdoing there is a field. 

I'll meet you there" - Rumi

BE. 

Purpose

What motivates you to get up in the morning? When you open your eyes in the morning why do you choose to face the day?

Reality hits hardest in the morning. Between the dreamlike state and harsh reality that you exist in the second you wake up, why do you decide to leave the comfort of your warm, alluring bed into the coldness of life? 

Reality washes over me every morning and every morning my reality is one that I am not content with. So I ask this question with the intent of answering it. 

I get up in the morning to make sure one day when I do wake up, my reality will be identical to my dreams. 

Purpose: the reason for which something is done or created or for which something exists.

It is the single greatest gift given to humans. To be able to work toward a solitary purpose and push for a better day allows us to tangibly change our environment. It is that purpose towards that goal that gives us our drive, work ethic and determination.

Indeed, without something to live for we would live for nothing.

Understand that I'm far from immune to human weakness. 

 For every morning I've woken up and felt the reality wash over me I've been so seduced by the idea of closing the blinds and giving into the beckoning lure of sleep. How easy it would be to turn back around and not have to deal with this life. Not to have to deal with the problems or the people or the incessant noise of the world. How simple just to roll over into..blissful nothingness. 

And yet, we can't. We have to keep fighting towards a better future, a better tomorrow, a better morning because if we didn't where would any of us be?

If we allowed ourselves the luxury of not facing the day would women have the right to vote today? No. The right to vote was granted in 1928 as a result of the suffragettes relentless petitioning towards there movement. Similiarly, MLK would have never made the strides he did in the civil rights movement if he had simply decided to roll over and ignore the obstacles he faced. 

I ask because I wanted to explore where that motivation to get up and do comes from. Especially when you're plagued with countless problems, it is the most alluring thing to just switch off and just not deal for the day. So what make you not give in? 

 I recognise that it is within the confines of humans and their drive to be better and do better that people get up and go. Either for yourself or others around you, you get up because you have a reason to. Even if you hated your job you love your family and need to provide for them. Doing so keeps you active, involved and productive. 

Staying idle is the most deceptive of friends.. 
It is working towards a true purpose that keeps you alive. 

Purpose gives renewed lease of life everyday.  

Expression

As human beings we have this constant need to express who we are. Its almost as if we need to prove to the world what we're about, constantly letting others know what we love or hate to an equal degree through mediums such as music, art, dance, drama etc.. So I ask where does this urge for expressing ourselves come from? What motivates an artist to paint, or a dancer to dance? What emotion are we trying to get across to the rest of the world?  And does it all come from the same place?
I ponder these questions as I ask myself what prompted me to write this blog in the first place. I can only speak for myself but the desire to get across to the world what I felt was so monumental, and so I did it the only way I know how;by writing. Perhaps expression in all its forms comes from a place of needing to create something bigger than ourselves, that lasts. We need to be the creator of something that exists on this world long after we don't. Whether that's making a piece of artwork that stands the test of time, or a legendary song we all, in our own ways, wish to leave our mark on this world.
We need to believe that the world was a better place because we were in it. It's almost fundamental to our existence, because otherwise what is the point of living?

Indeed, the need to put a stamp on something, and say this is me, this is who I am is so strong even in terms of aesthetic appearance with our make up or clothes. We constantly need to make a statement to the outside world. This may derive out of a internal fear of being overridden or forgotten. Our chosen mediums of expression serve as a reminder to the world that we are "here." That we exist wholly as opinionated and loved individuals. That not only are we a part of this world, but we have something worthwhile to say and you're going to fucking sit up and listen.

So I ask, what is the source of all this expression? What single emotion pushes an individual to want to create, mold and shape? Our external creations can become such an integral part of us that they define our identities. A good musician is obsessed with their craft, putting endless hours fine tuning the melody, the sound and the lyrics, to the point where what they do becomes who they are.
To go back to my initial question, I believe any form of expression has to be born out of a place of internal suffering. But that is not a bad thing, in fact I believe that channeling that negative energy into creating something worthwhile and long lasting is the only way we can truly fulfill our potentials. In order to create something which is the truest reflection of yourself you need to almost be at breaking point, to really feel. You can only do this when you come face to face with all your hindrances, fears and insecurities so that you can reach within, at your most vulnerable state and make something great. Suffering creates the necessary emotional energy with which we can express ourselves in the most honest and raw manner. 

"A great artist... must be shaken by the naked truths that will not be comforted. This divine discontent, this disequilibrium, this state of inner tension is the source of artistic energy."- Goethe

Do not be afraid of your own limatations, for they are a stepping stone to a greater understanding about yourself. Express any pain you feel with the thousands of different mediums available to you. Above all chose to do great things with the limited time you have on this earth. Make yourself unforgettable.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=i41qWJ6QjPI

BE.

Spiritual Connections

A good friend once told me that I will find the words, though in all honesty I am struggling right about now. Maybe I find this entry difficult to write purely because I feel the weight of its meaning to me. Nonetheless I'm going to try and let the words flow.
I guess my struggle derives from a need for human interaction and understanding on a deeper level. This yearning is sometimes is all consuming. How do I relate my thoughts, experiences and soul to someone and have them respond with innate understanding? I feel emptiness within me at times, this need to belong to something bigger then myself. The yearning to be both understood on a spiritual level by someone and to  fall deeply, madly and truly in love is so strong it overtakes me. I feel this certain dissatisfaction that is constant and cannot be remedied. My nature is so complex and though I live with the belief that there is something more I am yet have any tangible proof that such a thing exists.

I guess I just have to give myself the necessary space and time, and all will be revealed.

Does this entry resonate with anyone else? Let me know, I'd love to hear from you.

BE

Peace Within

Things can get overwhelming really quickly in life. Sometimes,whether we want to or not we have to face very difficult situations that are deeply distressing. Some things just don't have immediate solutions. Indeed, it feels exhausting to have to constantly adjust our sails to face the incoming strong winds.

Life can be merciless, placing both heavy burdens on our heart and the weight of the world on our shoulders.
Shit happens, I know that well and there have been times where I've had to ride out the storm, yet I've found that I always come out better after having gone through that experience. In hindsight the content of my character was tested most during the most challenging times of my life. It felt like I was against the world. Could I overcome these inner demons? Well, I did. The human capacity for endurance never ceases to amaze me. I'm sure you''ll agree, in times like that, you find a steely resilience within yourself that you never even knew you possessed.

Life can be crazy, hectic and constant. However, we must, in the midst of all the chaos take a step back and be still. You should strive to calm your mind and find peace within. Rest assured that: 'This too shall pass' Grow from your trials and tribulations, they'll only make you stronger and more able.

I guess what I'm trying to say is that in all things do not allow the noise of the outside world dull your senses or dim your spirit. Shine bright. You're worth so much more then the sum of your problems- they don't define you or what you're capable of.

 'Peace. It doesn't mean to be in a place where there is no noise, 
trouble or hard work, It means to be in the midst of those things
and be calm in your heart.' - Anon

BE.

Greater Things

Do you believe yourself to be destined for greater things? Not this mundane, ordinary life that you've been conditioned to lead but a life full of excitement and praiseworthy accolades? You should do. Then I ask:

What separates the average Joe Bloggs from the Steve Jobs and Oprah Winfrey's of this world? 

We all know the answer to that of course, it's a tale as old as time itself - hard work.
Among other skills, their absolute dedication to their craft, obsession with the final product and willingness to go above and beyond the call of duty is what makes iconic individuals celebrated and unforgettable.

However, the individuals that will go down in the history books were not always great. Indeed, they were too leading mundane ordinary lives. The sole distinction between Joe Bloggs off the street and them is that they had unwavering faith in themselves. They carried the belief that someday they will be great with absolute conviction. That is the subtle but all important distinction. You need to wholeheartedly believe you can do it before attempting to convince the rest of the world that you can. And then? You have to strive for greatness. Michael Jordan and The Beatles did not get into the record books of their respective fields because they were content with being second. They went on to be the best because they were never fully satisfied with their craft or themselves, pushing to the end of their human capabilities to obtain a degree of achievement that is awarded to few in this world.

We must continuously strive for greatness. For only people with the necessary insatiable hunger, drive and ambition will be renowned and remembered the world over. When it comes down to it, even if you entered this world as Joe Bloggs you want to leave it as Nelson Mandela.

You may say then, it is all well and good having complete belief in yourself and your capabilities but what about everyone else around you? Part of what provoked me to write this entry was to highlight the damage outsider influence can do. These outsiders will often be the closest people in your life that discourage you from achieving greatness and excelling in your chosen field. 'You can't do that.' Understand that the mass doubt you will recieve is a part of the process, the growing pains if you like, of becoming great. People will always doubt you simply because they are content to settle for their habitual existences of little significance and deeply afraid that you could achieve something that the limits of their own minds could not even began to comprehend. For this reason willingly or otherwise they project their own insecurities onto you.

'My uncle said I'd never sell a million records,
I sold a million records like a million times' 
Jay Z- Crown
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=5zcvjxng6C4

 To these people, only a simple response is appropriate and you can be back on your way to greatness:

'No, you can't do that.'

BE

Perspective

'Perspective is only valuable once gained'

I thought this would be an appropriate post for where I am in life right now. I find myself, like everyone else constantly saying 'I wish I knew back then, I would have done x y z differently.' My question to you then is - why? 
Why are we so afraid to learn the lesson that can be solely gained through that experience? Why do we yearn for a divine degree of perspective and understanding to shine on us and show us the way before we've even gone through it? Each time I look back on a situation it tells me a little more about myself, how I dealt with it obviously made sense in the moment- I should just trust in my previous judgement and be safe in the knowledge that I did the best I could. Yet, I'm unable to do so. Instead I'm forever feeling foolish for not seeing what seems so clear to me now. Constantly fighting with the then and the now then leads to internal conflict and resentment. 'Why didn't I see that?'

Hindsight, for this reason can be a very dangerous tool, stripping us of our self belief.
If I'm constantly telling myself that I could have done better, spoken better, acted better what does that say about my confidence to handle situations in the moment? Surely the point of life is to have experiences- both good and bad. It's both negative and unproductive to wish you didn't go out with that guy who turned out to be a jerk, or regret offensive words said in the moment. Living a life intertwined with the heavy burden of regret is unnecessarily self- sacrificial. We need to remind ourselves that we went out with the jerk in order to differentiate him from a good guy next time round, we said those offensive things because sometimes the truth is hard to swallow. You can't change the past, you can only look forward to creating a bright future. Don't beat yourself up about what you could or have done, you are human and beautifully, wonderfully flawed. It's okay. Just know that perspective exists so we can learn the lesson and do better next time round.

Perspective allows us to grow as individuals and move forward with clarity and decisiveness. Trust in your self.

BE

Introductions..

Ive had this burning desire to write for so long. Now that im here I'm not quite sure what I ever even wanted to say, or the what the significance of getting it all down would be. I just know that it's a process and the words will come.
Initially i started this blog to write about concepts and ideas we all have about life, about human emotion and the impact of relationships. Its what I enjoy most. You're not interested in reading about my daily musings and titbits from my ordinary life with its ordinary struggles. Rather, I'd rather speak on things that we have in unity - how vast yet short time feels, the importance of perspective. I'm writing this for me, so that I am able to share my racing thoughts and capture them as I grow, but I'm also writing this for you so that you too can take away a little something of my limited insight. My greatest hope is that whoever reads this just 'gets it.' My inate need for mutual understanding provokes me to write this, regardless of any physical distance.. so, enjoy comment and engage with me.

BE